


The Stakeout

by DiscourteousCuttlefish



Category: Justice League & Justice League Unlimited (Cartoons)
Genre: Gen, jlu, pretend husbands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 03:35:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16526570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiscourteousCuttlefish/pseuds/DiscourteousCuttlefish
Summary: Vic, Ollie, and Kara get caught on a stakeout and Kara makes up the most knee-jerk reaction excuse she can.  Time to collect two more dads I guess.





	The Stakeout

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you will enjoy, hopefully I didn't miss too many errors

So far it had been a pretty uneventful stake out, or rather ‘criminally boring’ as Kara had described it. The only good thing about it was that they happened to be posted outside a Starbucks, so at least she could have a refresher while she waited for literally anything to happen. Question... Vic, she reminded herself, had rolled his eyes at her boredom but she could tell Ollie was on her side.

They’d been sitting out in the baking sun for the better part of 6 hours, posted across the street from a building that was nearly indistinguishable from the other hundreds of sky scrapers in Metropolis. Vic had reminded her that unlike all those other buildings, this one supposedly had a criminal ring working drug and weapons deals with a bunch of Hub City crooks, but as far as Kara could see it was just full of tired, sweaty thirty somethings running from meeting to meeting with their briefcases full of boring, old run of the mill business stuff. ...Ok maybe Kara wasn’t sure what business men do, but as far as she could tell it was pretty mundane and, just like this stake out, criminally boring at best.

Currently, Vic and Ollie were arguing about the conspicuous or inconspicuous nature of sitting outside a Starbucks for six hours. That following an argument about the apparent ethically disparity between Burger King and McDonalds, the connection between Justin Bieber and recent political elections, and an actually somewhat normal argument about the St. Louis Blues versus the Star City Stars.

“Why can’t you admit you just feel like getting up? Normal people don’t hang out at Starbucks for six hours.”

“Hey, sorry I don’t feel like hiding in a dumpster. I didn’t hear you say no to a third basic ass pumpkin spice latte.”

Vic shot a quick glance at the offending beverage before taking a long defiant drink and pitching the empty cup in the trash.

“The eye contact felt a little unnecessary.”

Vic didn’t respond and simply pointedly gestured to get up with a jerk of his head.

Responding in turn, Ollie brought the straw of his refresher to his lips and took a leisurely sip, likewise with unbroken eye contact.

Kara awkwardly cleared her throat intent on ending this tiff but was interrupted.

“Is there a problem over here?”

_Shit_. One of the guards from the building full of criminally boring business men had come over.

“Odd place to come people watch.”

All three of them remained frozen, trying to think of a reasonable explanation.

After an awkward sound that was somewhere between a very unconvincing fake laugh and a person choking on rice, Kara blurted out the best answer she could.

“SORRY MY DADS ALWAYS ARGUE WHEN WE TRAVEL.”

Ollie inhaled his straw, hacking, eyes wide as Vic stiffened somehow even more. She heard Vic whisper ‘How old do you think we are,’ probably only audible to her.

No one was talking, just Kara trying hard to smile (she was certain it looked unconvincing) as she tried to maintain intense eye contact, while Ollie coughed in the background.

“Yep, he wants to go hat shopping and he’s looking for more turtlenecks...”

_...Why did she do that? Why did she just pick two random aspects of their attire??_

The guard now looked confused and in disbelief. Just then Vic’s hand shot aggressively across the table and gripped Ollie’s.

“He won’t believe that you can buy both in the same store.” He deadpanned.

Kara gaped and Vic; Ollie, still red in the face from coughing, shot him a withering glare. The guard looked from Kara to Ollie to Vic, who was giving a look of intense sincerity despite his bold faced lie, then back to Ollie.

“... You’ve seriously been arguing about that for six hours?” A nod from Vic. “You can definitely buy both in the same store...”

Everyone was now staring at Ollie. Kara gave him a desperate look and Vic raised his eyebrows with a shit eating smirk. Ollie sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Yeah well... it’s better quality at a specialty store...”

The guard furrowed his brow...

“Maybe so, but to argue for six hours about it? That’s not healthy... not for the two of you and definitely not for a child.”

Ollie went even more red and Kara could barely keep it together when she saw Vic’s eyes go wide looking like he was about to have an aneurysm trying not to laugh.

“I keep telling them that,” Kara barely managed to get out.

“She’s right, children need a stable environment with healthy relationships to emulate. Just get to a Hugo Boss, compromise is the key to any relationship.”

Desperate for this conversation to end, Ollie answered almost too quickly, “You’re absolutely right, thanks for the advise let’s go... dear...”

Ollie pulled Vic up and motioned for Kara.

“We'll just being going then... for some ... hat and turtleneck shopping...”

Kara got up but didn’t follow.

“It doesn’t count if you don’t actually apologize and make up.”

Ollie gave her a look that would have burned her off the face of the earth if he’d had heat vision. But, since they were in too deep to quit, he turned to Vic who was giving him a squint he didn’t like paired with a smirk he liked even less.

“VerysorryIwasbeingunreasonableletsgo.”

“Sorry, what was that?” Vic pushed his ear forward with a finger to indicate Ollie should try again.

With a deep sigh, Ollie restarted, “Sorry, I was being unreasonable, let’s go.”

“Okay,” Vic said, and them much to Ollie’s distress, kissed him directly on the mouth. Kara had to restrain herself from staring agape, and Ollie seemed stunned in place.

Vic, feeling no shame began leading Ollie away by the hand. “Well, let’s go.” They started walking away, Kara trailing behind and snickering. The guard gave himself a self satisfied nod and returned across the street to his post. Once they were decently out of sight, Ollie pulled his hand back.

“Was that really necessary?”

“Had to make it look convincing.” As though it were the most understandable thing in the world.

“Dinah’s not going to be a fan of this...”

“Really? Because I just won a bet with Hel.”

“I’m sorry, WHAT?”

_Well at least this wasn’t the most boring stakeout ever,_  Kara thought as she trailed after them, wonder who she tell first.


End file.
